I always wonder. I know my best friend whom I love with all my heart would blame herself, be a mess and wonder why I couldn't tell her everything, to which I know it's because she would never understand. I love her but she has no idea of what I go through.. she thinks she does though and thats all that matters.
My parents would be a mess. To be honest my mom would be terribly upset but could still manage to live. My dad would self destuct and possibly kill himself even though we dont have the best relationship..its complicated. They would definatly divorce and never be the same.
My guy. The one I love... he would be in shock and maybe cry a little but find another girl. I know he doesnt love me but i can't seem to let go.
My sister (half sister) would cry.
My neice (my sisters daughter that loves me and looks up to me because shes only 5 and doesnt understand what a fuck up i am yet) wouldn't understand but miss me i hope.
My dog wouldn't mind or notice.. he loves my dad more anyways.
The people from my school wouldn't care. Nobody ever gives a shit about me there and when i'm gone it would be no different. Some would try to fathom what pushed me to that point.. some would move on and not think twice about me
Out of all the peole in my life nobody would understand the pain that would push me to do this. Many would blame themselves for not taking the time to understand my struggles and be there for me, but still nobody would understand. Some would think of me as a coward. Some wouldn't even notice my absense and some would celebrate it.
Just a late night thought.. Off to look at sad love sayings and thinspo. </3 Goodnight ladies.
i'm sure that if you did die, more people would be upset that you think. all of us would miss you, for a start, xo.
ReplyDeleteI hope <3 I love all my followers. this is the only place i can really open up and I dont know what I would do without all you lovely ladies <3
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