:'(

I'm laying in bed thinking. I love him. I honestly do. He's been there for me through a lot and I can't imagine what I would be without him. At the same time Im thinknig about the past. I loved him then. He still broke my heart and left for another girl.. Whats going to make this time any different? I honestly love him and I dont want to let go but I feel that if I dont he will and im not sure which would hurt me most. I'm so sick of fucking love songs playing on the radio and im sick of crying and worrying.
I saw a cute picture today. I would post it but its being stupid but it says love is like a rubber band. We keep pulling, someone lets go, and it hurts the one who held on.

.. I've always been the one thats held on. Thats just who I am. I dont want anybody to let go but I cant help but feeling as if he will.

Maybe i'm just paranoid or maybe i'm dead on but i feel like since hes not talking to me he's talking to that other girl. Hearing that totally wouldn't surprise me. I desperatly want to text him but i dont know what I would even say.

:'( I just wish he would talk to me so I know hes not talking to her and he could comfort me and assure me he would never leave me..

I'm sorry for the annoying flip flopping emotions. I'm just terrified to get hurt. all. over. again.