:) Wednesdayyyy!

I'm so happy you guys like it and think it looks okay. I'm super nervous, not for school but for people to look at me. I hope all goes well! Anyways I ate like a pig which sucks but i still am at 113ish so I'm hoping that doeasnt change before tomorrow. No word from T yet.. which sucks. I really want to talk to him even though I know tonight he will be far to busy getting ready for school to even think about me.

Tomorrow's Intake Plan:
2 Iced Coffees. So necessary to wake up (might I add at 5:30!) 140 calories
Nothing for Lunch
Afternoon snack of coffee cakes 100 calories
Lunch of pickle and toasted bread 70 calories
Gum: 75 calories
Total:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::385 calories!
Not too shabby. I plan on starting to go to the gym after school but not tomorrow. I want to go to the grocery store and make sure he sees me in my skirt :) lol

Thats all really. <3 Have an amazing day!

Lets try this again! :)

So this is what I think i'm going to wear. Tell me what you think. I hope you can actually see them this time! <3

Comment Responses :)

I missed you guys! post:

Neeska: lol thanks :) it was rough with the slight rain and hardly existant wind gusts :)

Shattered Soul: I adore shopping I got tons of cute stuff and some baggy clothes to avoid questioning. I will probably post some pictures of it all tomorrow :)

Comment Responses! post:

Neeska: I'm happy to know somebody thinks I'm funny :) Now i'm just hoping to encounter this special somebody. Fingers crossed <3

Beautiful Bikini Thinspo! :) post:

Ahava: Thanks! And I freakin miss you! I can't wait for another post from you :)

Shattered Soul: I'm so happy you liked it and find it motivational enough to prevent a binge :) I'm honored you think so highly of it :)

Damn Bloggerrrrrr post:

Weightless: I hope so too. It's confusing the hell out of me!

Shattered Soul: I wouldn't ever delete this thing. I love mfollowers and I get all my motivation from here. I'm glad you know I'm still here and know I'm not going anywhere anytime soon! :) I hope blogger fixes thissss!

<3 Thanks for the comments ladies :)

Input pleeeasee?

So I recently posted that I would do comment responses on the bottom of my daily update but now i'm not so sure. Todays will go in a seperate post but I am going to add a poll and get your input :) Make sure to vote! <3

Meeeee

So yeah i became a bit of a camera whore so bear with me :) This is what I plan on wearing to school so yeah :) Tell me what you think <3
























Skirt-Abercrombie XS :)
Cami- Aeropostale XS :)
Cardigan-Hollister S
 So yeah :) <3 Leave a comment!

Tuesday! Update! Changes!

Changes: Since you guys comment so much (and i absolutly loooveee it) I will start doing comment responses on the bottom of each daily update :) yay!

Tuesday Intake: Fucking phenomenal! :)
Coffee with 0 calorie sweetener (0) for breakfast, nothing for lunch or an afternoon snack and for dinner I did some snacks which were: a pickle (0), a fiber one (150), two pieces of toasted bread (140), and throughout the day 10 pieces of gum (50)

Total: 340 Calories!

Im so proud . I'm finally getting back on track!

Personal Update: Size 1 hollister jeans felt rather loose today so idk what that was about but im hoping its a sign of improvement. I start school Thursday. UGH.
Thinspo will not be posted tonight, instead its going to be pictures of me! In my back to school/first day outfit!
<3 Hope you had a lovely day

Damn Bloggerrrrrr

So im still not sure what up with that whole blogger bull shit but im getting maaad. I just want to have my icon show and have a name, it's really weird and i dont know how to fix it. Let me knopw if anyone else is having this problem or if it's totally just me. As for now im off to bed <3 I'll update tomorrow night. Have a lovely day ladies!

Beautiful Bikini Thinspo! :)



Weird Question..?

So idk if it's just me but I noticed on all the blogs I follow my icon isn't there when you look at their followers even though I know I follow them publicly and my icon was there before. Is this only happening to me or am I going crazy?

Comment Responses!

Im Never Enough post (might be repeats but im too tired to care):

Neeska: Thank you so much and I really hope your right about other guys out there. Being alone has really started getting to me lately and i'm falling back to T even though he's never totally there for me no matter if I look good or not.

Christina: I hope your right and thanks for commenting <3

Shattered Soul: Your comment was so sweet <3 I guess i'm not alone but damn it feels like it sometimes

Update! post:

Neeska: Your comments always enlighten me and I totally agree. Like guys can go around fucking random girls and its no big deal but a girl does it with like 3 guys and shes a slut.. like wtf? Although the saying is 'If a key can open a bunch of locks it's a master key, If a lock is opened by a bunch of keys it's a shitty lock' And thats totally how people think of it so fuck them, I will do whoever I feel like, whenever I want :) They can suck my dick.

Jen :) : Thanks for your well wishes. We are all safe.. just some crumbling road edges but nothing too big to worry about

Ugh. post:

Rachel: I'm hoping because i'm falling to pieces! Any more of this bad karma and i'm going to end up paralyzed or dismembered lol

Christina: I suppose your right but it still sucks. Maybe I should considering wrapping up in bubble wrap and laying in bed for a day :)

To everybody: Thanks for following/reading/commenting on my blog. I love you guys and your support means the world to me :)

I missed you guys!

So im back and "hurricane" irene was a joke and a half. It rained. I've seen worse. It was windy.. it's way more windy in the winter but considering our typical weather is generally way worse then Irene's bullshit we still lost power. It pissed me right off but we wont go into that. I miss T. As usual.. Ate like a pig but finished up school shopping finally. I will spend my night catching up on blogs, posting a comment response, thinspo, and hopefully T will call or text but thats unlikely. I missed you guys so much! I cant wait to see what you've been up to! Stay strong!
 <3

Ugh.

My head is throbbing like I have a suuuuper bad headache. Throughout the last two days ive: I pulled a muscle in my neck, broke a pinky toe, gashed the other pinky toe, scratched my hip, got my eye all swollen for god knows what reason, and have been non-stop eating. I've gained like at least 5 pounds and I feel like hell. I want to go to the gym but with this damn hurricane, and physical injuries i know it's not a good idea. Hopefully by Monday I can go. School starts thursday. Fuck my life im screwed, fat and in pain. I hope you guys are all in one piece unlike me. <3 I'll update whenever I can. Hopefully I can lose weight :(
Goodnight

Update!

Sooo sorry i've been away for however longs it's been and thank you ladies so much for your comment. Especially Lily, Neeska, Christina and Shattered Soul. That was a really a rough day and to be honest todays not much better. My town had an Old Home Day today and everybody in town attends and it's pretty much a fair type thing with games and food and fireworks. So my best friend and I went. She invited her on and off guy (I will call R) which also happens to be Matts best friend.  Matt didnt go but R's other football friends went. A few of them were okay looking and I was just hanging out with them when one of them decided to bring up how matt and I are fwb. I was like wtf who told you that since matt isnt really good friends with any of R's other friends. Appereantly he fucking to everyone so now everybody thinks im an easy skank so yeah. It sucked. I ate way to much and cant seem to stop. My nerves from all the hurricane hype are getting to me (its supposed to come right through here and be baaad) I'm really scacred and the chances of a power outage are supper high so this may be my last post for a few days. <3 Stay focused and have a lovely few days <3

Comment Responses

So I know I respond on the actuall comment part but i know most people probably dont go back in check so from now on I will be doing comment responses

Lily: Thanks so much for your positive outlook I really hope your right. Im now following your blog and I adore it. Keep posting often, I look forward to reading them.


Shattered Soul: Thanks so much for following me to start and thanks for finding my thinspo motivational, thats the reason I do it so i'm glad to know somebody enjoyed it. Thanks for the support, it really does mean a lot to me.

Neeska: I really appreciate your input, it's always so sensible. I feel as if all im doing lately is falling backwards into a hole of self-destructive bahaviors and hate. I'm so glad to have this blog and be able to express these feelings to somebody instead of holding everything in like before

Thank you ladies for all the support, I know I'm an emotional mess so thanks for putting up with me.
I love you guys <3

I'm Never Enough.

I'm simply never enough. Ever. No matter what i'm never good enough. My dad went off and told me im pathetic and it's a shame for him to call me his daughter. The best psrt of that? It was at dinner. In a restraunt. In front of everyone. T has a ton of other girls and he will never be happy with just me, always me AND some other bitch. My friend and I were supposed to have a girls day in the sun at the beach since i've been upset lately and now shes insisting her boyfriend goes. I dont wan't to tell her that I don't want him to go. It's nothing personal against him, I just want my best friend to myself not to mention the fact im insanely jealous of anybody happy in love. I want a guy to hold me in his arms and to think of me as his for forever but it never happens. Maybe one day when I'm skinny i'll be enough for T to want me (and me to be strong enough to tell him to fuck off), a guy to call me his, my dad to want me, and my best friend to spend a day with me, and only me. <3

Intake was awful and I'm still bnging and sobbing as I type. I just want to know when this pain will end.

Tricking your Metabolism

So we all know metabolism is a very important part of weight loss and without a reved up metabolism losing weight is super hard. So here is a lovely trick: 0 calorie foods. I know I've gone over my love for these sooooo many times BUT they are amazing. Once you eat your matabolism increases to burn the calories/fat and convert the recently eaten food into energy. If you eat a 0 calorie food your burning stored fats opposed to the new calories you just ate. I hope this made since lol. I'm typing and enjoying my 0 calorie lunch which is a sour pickle :) Have a good day ladies!

Alone.

I tried to not let myself get to this point but here I am. Crying, bleeding, and soon to be drugged out. I'm so sorry to everybody. I'm sorry I let everyone down and eat like a pig and look like a pregnant cow. I can't take the pressure and I feel like hell. I wish I was stronger and could succeed but I guess that won't ever happen. I'm so terribly sorry </3

Sad Love Sayings.

Sad sayings that apply to my life. And make me cry.