Sex, Love, and All the Wrong Reasons.

Alright I think it's time I make myself clear. Yes I'm easy. Yes some view me as a whore. On the other hand there are some out there that understand my point. I'm aware I'm not good enough to be with anyone. I allow guys to use me for sex. It's better that than to be alone and suicidal all the time. That's why I do it. I understand some people have other Motives but in the end it usually boils down to not wanting to be alone. I believe there's a strong difference between making love and sex. Sex is the act of intercourse but making love is trusting and being close enough with someone to have sex on a more emotionally connected level which I find to he total bullshit. If I wanted to connect emotionally I wouldn't be randomly hooking up with these guys. If I was good enough to be more than a sex object I would be in a happy relationship but I'm not. Just had to clarify. Stay strong ladies I'll post tomorrow.

The Crucible Fever

So have any of you guys ever read the crucible? It's actually not a bad book and I'm reading it for my English class. In it the 17 year old girl named Abigail gets some dude to have sex with her even though he's old and married and now she ls tryingto get rid of his wife and be with him while at the same time she's crying out in court that all these innocent people are attacking her with witchcraft and getting them hung and put in jail. Anywayssss ironically enough guess who has to read the part of Abigail in class. Yep. Anyways I just feel like her. I'm so desperate for anyone to love and once I find them they claim it was a mistake and leave me trying to get rid if their girls. Its sad. I totally make up lies to get all my guys new bitches in trouble and make them want me back but just like with Abigail it doesn't work. The only reason she does the crying ou is because she grew up in such a sheltered religious lifestyle that now that she has power she goes crazy which is also strikingly similar to me. I grew up so sheltered and alone that once I realized I could get away with stuff I went crazy and here I am. I have an obsession with guys, im okay with being used for sex, and I tend to experiment with prescription pills. So yeah that's just what I've noticed On the other hand I have a fever and feel like complete shot. I look like a whale and I want to curl up and die. I'm just sick of being alone and I'm ready to get with anyone and everyone. I hope you guys are doing better than I am. Stay strong ladies

So I took will back because I'm pathetic and I hate to be alone. I told T I thought other guys were sexier then him when he asked. He was slightly surprised hahah whatever :) j is sooooo sexy. Everyday with him just makes me smile that much more :) I look skinny today. It's awesome :D I'm off to bed. Toodles lovelies. And thanks for the comments