WARNING: PROBABLY TRIGGERING....? BE CAUTIOUS I SUPPOSE?
So yesterday I ate like a pig and today I said, oh well I did it yesterday so whats wrong with it today as well?
It started with a Mc Donalds Hash browns (6) and cinnamon melts (3) and then nothing throughout the day. When I got home I ate a lot. Olives, fudge, cookies, bagels, toast, chocolate, cofee cakes, and lots of diet pepsi. I ended up crying and thinking what the hell is wrong with me so I decided to return to the dark side and try to purge. I tried everything I used to do but none of it worked. I pulled out all the stops, hunched over and sobbing with the once familiar taste of tears and makeup collecting in the corners of my mouth I dipped my fingers in pickle/olive juice and then down my throught and gagged but not strong enough. I tried again and thrashed them around my throat and incredibly far down and still nothing. I imagined the most foul things, drank olive/pickle/tums/salt/and water and I still couldn't. I honestly don't know why it didn't work. I just curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor and cried. I hate to say this but if any of you ave any sorts of tips please share them with me. I guess i'm back to this point in my life.. the only difference is I don't have T to hold my hand and pulling me back on track. So this time I shall wander down the dark path I previously explored only much more in depth. </3 I'll continue to cry, beg for drugs, and have my broken hearted dreams until my body manages to shut down for the night <3 I love you ladies so much. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment. Comment responses tomorrow.. im far too depressed to come up with pleasant things to say to you wonderful women <3
You could always purge through exercising your butt off instead. Sure, you probably can't burn off all the calories you eat just by exercising-- at least not in one night-- but it's much healthier (and works better) if you try to.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you binged. We all do it, though. Don't let it hold you down and pull you in! It's okay.
yeah, dont feel too bad about this little bumb. Just make yourself NOT eat anything bad tomorrow. I do actually have one suggestion. I have a really bad gag reflex, so i totally cant purge. But, one time i tried this thing: milk of magnesia. (as a laxative, it sucks ass) it literally almost made me puke it was so bad. The only other thing that tastes that bad to me is vodka. So if you arent used to the taste, and you can get your hands on some, that could help do the trick ;)
ReplyDeletegood luck tomorrow!! :)
liquid is the secret...only thing that ALWAYS works is, drinking, drinking, drinking. water, just plain tabwater. drink until your stomach hurts terribly from being more than full, then jump up and down a couple of times and just bend down to the toilet..u'll puke almost automatically, u probably won't even need the finger anymore (i take it any - matter of bad habit)
ReplyDeleteSweetie, I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. I agree with the advice here (it's all better than mine; I've only purged by vomiting once, and I wanted to die-- not my drug of choice, that one). You could also do a saltwater flush, it's cheaper than laxatives? And probably a little better for you? Hugs.
ReplyDeleteLadies,
ReplyDeleteYou are all so beautiful! You are in control of your life! Don't let this be stronger than you! Staying healthy and staying alive is how you win and stay in control, not by controlling food consumption and exercise......Think about it.....if you are strong enough to be in control of your.....lets say.....diet......than you are definitely strong enough to beat the demons that are actually in control.
Stand up, ladies.......take control.....EAT!.......and WIN!
I wish you all the best of luck....and I pray you are all seeking help so you can live a wonderful, happy life.......not the hell of ED!