I'm supposed to be happy. I finally found a guy that's willing to accept me and is everything I thought I wanted but i'm not. I'm crying in bed having an anxiety attack and I want T. I want to hear his voice calm me down and promise me he'll always be there for me even if its just a lie. I feel stupid like I'm messing up my only chance of having a guy and that is after all what I've wanted right...? I'm not sure of anything right now. I just want to see my phone light up and his number appear. I'm thinking about all the things we used to talk about. I'm not sure whether I should text him or not right now. I really want to but I don't want to push him away.
He destroyed my heart.
He left me broken just like he wanted.
I hope he's happy.
Sometimes I wish he could see the psychological damage he left
Other times I wish he would make it all better
:( I just wrote you a comment, but my stupid Internet erased it.
ReplyDeleteI was just going to say something along the lines of hang in there. I know that doesn't really help, but . . . I have been there. SO hard. And the psychological damage will always be there. But you will grow and evolve because of it, too. And the pain will fade. The memories will fade a LOT.
Maybe the current guy you're with treats you right, but that doesn't mean you have to love him or even be happy with him. But you CAN be happy with someone. Maybe it's just not the new guy OR T.