I'm eating nonstop crying and thinking about what could of been. All the mistakes i've made. I could have been happy. I could have been in love.. but here I am. Alone and fat. Eating my pain away. If only it was really that simple. I cut myself. I have plans with my drug kid for tonight so god knows what i'll end up doing. I am here self destructing from the pressure and pain of the mistakes i've made. I sincerly hate myself. People say it all the time but to genuinly feel it is the worst pain ever.. Never being enough to be happy, pretty, anything important. This is what's left of my. The pieces crumbling apart and leaving nothing but a shell of a heart broken girl that cries every night for what could have been and trying to make it happen. Time is a bitch and withers me down to whats left of me, fat on a frame of heart break, self hating girl with only drugs to turn to for comfort.
Comment Responses:
All: Ladies I love you <3
The Story of Love and Weight Loss... post:
Ahava: I'm glad im not alone although as of right now i feel as if im losing touch with everything. Thank you for your well wishes <3
Becca: Thanks <3 you'll see some of it in upcoming posts <3
Christina: Thank you so much. I hope your right <3
Jalen: It's nice to see a neww commenter <3 It seems so obvious but is often overlooked. Life should go on one painful breath at a time to reveal the efforts of our life.
Karolina: Im so glad you found it beautiful <3 Time is a bitch and is never on my side.
Thank you all for your support and lovely comments <3 I'm off to la la land, wish me luckkkkk and long lasting brain numbing solitude <3
I completely agree that to feel so much hate for yourself, rather than just saying it, is the worst pain. I understand this post too well.
ReplyDeleteLife can be a real bitch at times.
x
Oh, sweetie, I hate feeling that way. If you need anyone to talk to you, you can totally email me at linab93@gmail.com. It can be so hard :(
ReplyDeleteI really hope youre feeling better soon! I've been loathing myself tonight. I'm pretty sure i've gained all my weight back. :( Don't rely on drugs to make you happy! Go out and get what you want, girl! I know i really have no right to say that, but its true. Dont get addicted, because it will ruin your life. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteStay safe sweetheart.
ReplyDeletexx
*lots of hugs* can totaly relate.
ReplyDeletehope you feel better tomorrow
x
This post makes me want to cry, because I can completely understand. How are other people happy and successful? Why do I have to live another day as a miserable failure?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel so awful, but at least you're not all alone. :) Keep being strong.