So my dad just gave me 500 bucks and im pumped. I'm putting it towards my ny trip and a nail visit so its really excited :) I've been eating like a cow since friday ive eaten: 29 cupcakes, 3 family packs of velvetta, french fries, 42 chicken nuggets and a meal from friendlys... yahhhh I started out weighing 115 and today im at 110. idk how the hell that ahppened, actually i didnt think it was even possible but its true. ive checked 3 scales and its all the same, if anyone has any clue of how this happened please tell me and no i didnt lose any limbs, only some brain cells and dignity. Im so happy right now! Im wearing a skirt tomorrow :) i still dont understand this but im just going to be happy while it lasts.
By the way do any of you lovelies have good documentary or book title? Any and all suggestions are welcomed! <3 Just leave a comment
Comment Responses:
... post:
Karolina: I honestly dont even know i swiched between so many lol i do it quite often
Sarah: Im totally obsessed with it!
Obsession post:
Karolina: lol i love your comments so dont worry about how long they are :) Im totally obsessed with magazines and their guides and whatnot. I konw its totally awful but i totally think it pushes people into these habits whether they know it or not. I've always had a fascination and once I was older to explore it I did and know im dying for more literature and documentaries on it!
Becca: I suppose your right. Im totally into trying understand what makes us so obsessed because its evident its a factor we all share. I dont understand it but I deperatly want to!
Run: I love anything having to do with the subject. I think being exposed to it at an early age through school projects almost made me more vulnerable to it. I strongly believe in education of disorders but at the same time maybe not so young if theyre looking to prevent it? I love the different perspectives even if im not into the idea of recovery I cant help but to absorb myself in it
Ahave: Indeed i believe your right. I feel like the blogs definatly pushed me into it all over again but at the same time its the only support i have to keep me from killing myself. my feelings are so mixed about this. maybe these blogs are unhealthy but so is depression and cutting from lonley desperation
Risk Factors post:
ednos Linny: good luck with your research :)
Neeska: Darling im so glad to hear from you! :) Ive done almost al my projects on ed's and i guess that never raised a flag at school lol I totally agree with you and are you a swimmer? I am and I totally have the boxish frame of it although it makes it easy for protruding collar bones :) we can totally get there especially with your amazing support <3
Christina: I agree with what you sya. I just have the obsession of tryingto figure out what triggers these predispostions in us. Some people can go all their lives and be fine. I just want to understand more so badly. I totally believe in the genetic beliefs and even the environmental factors. The way so many things impact us and set us off is so weird to think about! Thanks for the though provoking comment :)
Right now, the entirety of your readership wants to kill you ;) Seriously, that is absolutely amazing. Your'e so close to your goal weight!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your compliment, too, lovely.
Novel Recommendations (some obvious, but I figured a complete list would be okay?)
Wasted by Marya Hornbacher (classic)
Stick Figure by Lori Gottlieb (simplistic)
Fasting Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg (heady)
Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson (ethereal)
Biting Anorexia by Lucy Howard Taylor (gritty)
Thin by Grace Bowman (jarring)
After the Strawberry by Kathryn Pope (awkward)
Empty by Kate Taylor (AMAZING; a compilation by authors who have EDs and therefore well-written, and full of diverse stories and styles)
HOLY FUCK. how the hell did you manage to eat all that and lose weight? im so jealous!!! i wouldve gained like 5 pounds!
ReplyDeletehaha, i'm with karolina! so jealous! maybe your body just needed the food or something? well done on the weight loss though :) xo.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty amazing. And yes, we are all jealous :)
ReplyDeleteI'm like you, I have to know why I am the way I am and whats happening to me. If I don't know then it scares me because there is no control. After researching all these things I can now pretty much pinpoint the moments in my life that lead to me being disordered. Its weird, but knowing these things makes me feel better about it.
Anyway, Karolina's list is very good, you should listen to her :)
xx
Hey dear;
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