A journey of my anorexic life and other insight with thinspiration and tips to help motivate others.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Things Fall Apart.
I don't know where to start. Sorry for me neglecting my blogger responsibilities but a lot is happening. Basically my dads an alcoholic. Hes obsessed with money and values it more than family. Theres been lots of fighting and ugly things said so anyways they're getting divorced. He told me all I am to him is baggage and that if I cried he would only see me as a disgrace. Despite this I stayed the night with him here instead of going with my mom. My mom feels like I'm leaving her and i know she hates being alone so its rough. I've been eating non stop to cope and I hate myself. I feel so alone and lost right now.
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Hey Soph. I went through this with my parents about three years ago. It sucks so much dick, unbelievable. When you feel like your world is falling down, you need to surround yourself with friends. And most importantly, don't get in the middle of the two fighting parents. It is super difficult sometimes, but you can't be a pawn in their shit, nor can you let yourself take shit from your dad like that. If he wants to be a dick, then don't see him. Divorces cause a lot of hurt and maybe he needs time to chill the fuck out and let go of some of the anger before you should see him again. Because, if he doesn't want to or can't be a parent right now, then get out. And don't let your mom guilt trip you. You are both their daughter. And as much as they are going through a rough time, they need to consider what this is doing to you too. Be selfish. Without sounding lame, the rabbit hole goes deep. Good luck darling. Always here if you need it! Xo
ReplyDeleteOh Sophie, I'm sorry to hear all of this! I know things are rough now, Divorces suck and I know from experience that even when your dad is the biggest a*hole on the face of the earth, you still want to give him chance after chance to redeem himself. It's almost like an inborn thing, I swear.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Piggy, he definitely needs to chill out and settle his own issues before you give him that chance. I also agree that you shouldn't let your mom guilt trip you, BUT I think it also needs to be said that you should be proud of her for taking the step to getting the two of you out of there. I know it hurts a lot, but there's a lot of important people in my life that had alcoholic dads who did horrible things to them and their moms, but their moms wouldn't leave- which caused them more resentment towards their moms than a divorce and all the fighting ever would.
Good luck, we love you lots and you know where to find us! xox
I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there sweetheart, we're all here for you.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if there is anything I can do for you, I'm always here if need be.
xx
I'm sorry to hear about your parents, Sophie. Stay true to yourself, and try to stay healthy during this time.
ReplyDeletei was wondering why you were so MIA! Im so sorry to hear about this. :( I cant understand what its like to go through a divorce since my parents have never split (although they fight all the fucking time, so i understand that bit), but i do understand what its like to have an alcoholic father. Im so sorry you had to experience it because its NOT pretty. I mean, he'd rather spend money on good booze than on me! dont feel like you have to choose to be with one or the other parent. You'll hopefully always have both of them. i know what its like to want to please your dad even though you know he resents you...if you feel like you'd be happier living with your mom, then you should distance yourself from your dad for a bit so he can calm down and all. i doubt any of this made you feel better, but i just hope everything will turn out ok in the end. Remember that food isnt going to make you feel better! Instead try writing poetry or songs etc, invest your emotions into something other than food or you'll regret it later! We're always here for you sophie! <3
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