Fa La La

So some crazy shit is happening but i dont want to talk about it. I'll tells you guys more when everything for sure and whatnot :/ I've been eating a lot due to stress and I cant get enough sleep. ever. I woke up at 3:13 unable to breathe due to asthma and allergies mixed into the worst experience of my life. If you make a fist and push it into your neck in the voice box area its like that breathing. It hurts and isnt comfortable so yeah. Not much else to say. Lots of school work to do. Im fat. same old same old. Stay strong ladies. Tomorrow I'll actually explain stuff and put effort into a halfway decent post. <3

What A Day

So I guess my friend talked to T.. She wont tell me what is  was about. All she said was it had to do with me and it wasn't good or bad and he calld me stubborn. I WANT TO KNOW! So much bullshit with drivers ed and school im sick of it. I need a break. Badly. I wasnt him to talk to me though I know he wont.. I wonder what they said about me. Its driving me nuts. Im still fat. Surprised? Not really.
Not much left to say other than than Im lonley as hell so here some comment responses from the last post :

Kim: I agree 120% So many things get to me sometimes for no reason.

Sparrow: I keep eating like a pig and worrying like hell. I want everything to wrok out and I'm so worried it's not going to. I feel like T knows me better than anyone else but that also pushes us apart. With W he doesnt know anything and thats hwy everything has gone rather well. I just dont know what to do anymore. Thanks so much for your support <3

Ahava: Aww thank you so much. I look rather lumpy lately though. I wish I had one person to go to and they would see how much i've changed but it seems like everyone is too self centered to open there eyes and ee how much I need them. That why I love you ladies I can say anything and know it's going to be okay. <3 Stay strong

Missing Pieces

So yeah Im depressed as hell and I have no clue why. I woke up in a fine modd now im having a melt down. I ate too much. Guys make me anxious I can hardly even function. Total melt down? Here I come. I feel as if anything I do is totally uselss at this point. Im always going to be fat. I'm never going to be pretty. I'm never going to be loved so why do I even bother. I want to curl up and never move. I want to have somebody to reach out and save me but I don't anyone to really know. I tried to talk about the stress of eating with R and how i'm breaking down but he didnt notice any peculiar.. If he only knew. Something in me is missing now if I could only determine what it is and where to find it </3

New and Old Followers:

Thanks for adding me :) It means a lot. I would love to follow your blog back but Blogger has some issues as we all know. I can only see some of your icons when you follow me. If I'm not following you and you want me to be then leave a comment or email me :) Stay strong ladies.

Broken.

I'm supposed to be happy. I finally found a guy that's willing to accept me and is everything I thought I wanted but i'm not. I'm crying in bed having an anxiety attack and I want T. I want to hear his voice calm me down and promise me he'll always be there for me even if its just a lie. I feel stupid like I'm messing up my only chance of having a guy and that is after all what I've wanted right...? I'm not sure of anything right now. I just want to see my phone light up and his number appear. I'm thinking about all the things we used to talk about. I'm not sure whether I should text him or not right now. I really want to but I don't want to push him away.

He destroyed my heart.

He left me broken just like he wanted.

I hope he's happy.

Sometimes I wish he could see the psychological damage he left

Other times I wish he would make it all better